If You Ever Left Me
by Everlight18
Summary: Miwa was one of Kai's best friends. Even though he never actually said those words it was true. Miwa had always been there for him; even during the Reverse. So why did Miwa seem to be avoiding him? It wasn't like he would leave him... right? Set right after Link Joker before Legion Mate. NO YAOI. [Discontinued]
1. The Day After

**Summary: Miwa was Kai's best friend. Even though he never actually said those words it was true. Miwa had always been there for him; even during the Reverse. So why did Miwa seem to be avoiding him? It wasn't like the blond would leave him... right? Set right after Link Joker before Legion Mate. NO YAOI.**

**A/N: This idea has been stuck in my head for a while now and I am finally getting around to writing it out. Who knew that the hardest part of writing is sitting down and writing? Oh well. Best get on with the story. Please keep in mind this is a story about friendship; it is not yaoi.**

**Just for referance I have chosen to write the characters names the English way ie. first name then family (last) name lest I become confused. For example Kai's name is written Toshiki Kai.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Cardfight! Vanguard or this story idea since it came from a LOTR fanfic I read a long time ago and haven't been able to find since.**

* * *

**If You Ever Left Me**

"_You never know what you have till you've lost it."_

* * *

Chapter 1

The Day After

* * *

_Beeeeep!_

A soft groan was heard as the brunet raised an arm to cover his eyes. In spite of collapsing into bed right after supper he was still tired and definitely not ready to get up. It didn't help that his bed was so warm compared to the rest of his apartment. Maybe he could sleep a bit longer...

_Beeeeep!_

... Or not.

_Beeeeep! _

After a few more loud beeps from his navy blue alarm clock, he decided that he might as well get up. With defeated sigh Kai rolled over and reached out to shut off the alarm.

_Beee-_

Silence restored, Kai wearily sat up and rubbed his eyes before glancing at the clock. Great. Just great. If he didn't hurry he would risk being late for school. With one fluid movement he rolled out of bed and landed on his feet. After a quick stretch and another yawn he made the bed without even bothering to turn on the light. The jade-eyed boy then turned to snatch up the blue long-sleeved shirt and black pants he had set out the night before and headed for the bathroom. He soon emerged much more awake than he had before and set about making his lunch for school.

The kitchen was small but efficient. In the far left corner was a black refrigerator with a silver stripe down the front. Beside it cabinets with a simple counter top held his pots, pans, and other cooking tools and above that were cupboards filled with dry ingredients and a few dishes to eat from. Across from fridge was a sink for dirty dishes and a small stove for cooking. It wasn't much but it worked for his needs.

Sometimes, when he had the time, he would prepare an elaborate lunch experimenting with new recipes or an unusual combination of foods and flavors but today lunch would have to be simple since he had slept in much later than he usually did. Kai scrounged around not finding much to work with—he would have to do some shopping later—and set what he could find on the counter. The black apron was hanging in its usual spot; it hadn't been moved since he left that morning three weeks ago. The morning he went to see Takuto and ended up accepting the Reverse.

The next three weeks had been the stuff of nightmares—literally. It was hard to believe that this time yesterday he had been preparing to fight Ren and Aichi, Miwa setting a steaming plate of breakfast in front of him encouraging him to eat, reminding him that he need to be at full strength during those important battles. He shivered slightly at the thought of those battles and for a moment memory overtook reality. Aichi's agonized screams echoed in his ears. Burgundy eyes filled with life became dull—almost lifeless—as Void gained control. Kai's hands shook, almost dropping the knife he held.

No, it was over. Aichi had brought him back. With a swift shake of his head he pushed the memories aside. He didn't need to think about that now.

_'Just get ready for school.'_

Taking a deep breath he felt his body begin to relax again. Lunch was soon finished, placed carefully in his book bag for later, and then he was on his way.

* * *

Kai paused in the doorway of his classroom as he glanced around. Sunlight flooded in through the large sparkling windows on the far right side. Simple but efficient desks faced the front in identical straight rows contrasting with the plain white walls and tiled floor. Students huddled in small groups chatting quietly about their weekend or sat at their desks preparing for the day's classes. At the front of the of the room was a small table and lectern for the teachers to use and behind those items was a large blackboard. Had it really been three weeks since he had last been here?

Stepping through the doorway at last Kai made his way to a desk near the back on the window side of the room. The brunet slid into his usual seat and pulled out what was needed for the first class. He inwardly sighed as he leafed through the thick stack of homework he'd found this morning on the table—likely put there by Miwa. After the events the day before he had been too exhausted to even notice it and since he overslept he hadn't had the time to look through it before school. Picking out one of the algebra papers he placed it on his desk then returned the others to his bag which was then placed carefully under the desk. Might as well start on it now during the few extra minutes left then to wait for more to pile up later.

_"Look who decided to show up."_

_"How does he get away with missing so much school? My mom would kill me."_

_"What do you think he was doing this whole time?"_

The jade-eyed boy kept his eyes on his homework, pen scratching across the surface quickly, trying to ignore the stares and whispering of his classmates. Of course they were staring, he couldn't blame the them for that, after all he _had _been gone for three weeks, unusual even for him. He shifted slightly in his seat, the weight of their curiosity and speculation making him uncomfortable.

Hurried footsteps came from behind and he glanced up to catch sight of Miwa's orange jacket. The blond slid into the empty seat right in right front of Kai just as class began. From the sounds of his breathing he was fairly certain that Miwa had run the entire way to school. He smirked.

"Toshiki Kai."

He looked up to find his teacher staring at him then stood as was expected. "Yes?"

"I understand that your long absence was because of unexpected family issues." Kai blinked. Family issues? His eyes flicked toward the blond in front of him, this must be Miwa's doing. Well, at least now he didn't have to try to figure out a way to explain his long absence. It hadn't even crossed his mind. Suddenly he realized that the teacher was waiting for an answer.

"That's right." He hoped it sounded more convincing than it felt.

The teacher nodded, seemly satisfied. "We are glad to have you back. I trust that you received the homework you will need to turn in by the end of this week." He nodded making a mental note to finish the work by Wednesday just to be safe.

"Good. Now, let's begin..."

It was that way in every one of his classes that morning. The students would be whispering, then the teachers would call him out and either offer a sympathetic smile, likely related to the 'family issues', or send him a look that said they didn't buy it and, of course, a reminder of when the homework was due. By the time lunch break arrived Kai was more than ready to escape the confines of his classroom. Miwa apparently had the same idea as he took off almost before the bell had finished ringing.

_'He's probably waiting for me at the usual spot.' _Kai sighed as he got up from his seat and stretched his tired muscles. Miwa usually walked with him to the roof but since he hadn't the grey-eyed teen was likely going to talk nonstop since they hadn't spoken all morning. Which wasn't so great for Kai as he already was getting a headache.

Yet when he arrived on the roof there was no trace of the blond anywhere. He frowned slightly. Since he had moved back Miwa had made it a point to have lunch with Kai during school, on the roof whenever the weather permitted or in the hall by the stairs if the weather was bad. Partly as an excuse to make sure that his friend was taking care of himself and as a way to get access to Kai's homemade cooking. It was a rare occasion when the grey-eyed boy missed their "lunch date." Kai had raised an eyebrow when Miwa had first used the phrase.

Miwa just grinned back. "Dont' give me that look. You know what I meant... It's just when we can hang out together like we did as kids."

Kai didn't admit it but he had really missed those times. Maybe that was why he hadn't put up much of a fight or maybe it was because he knew Miwa wasn't likely to give it up. Either way whenever they were both at school they would have their "lunch date". Well, it was Miwa's loss. Kai smirked at the thought.

He found a shady spot near the edge overlooking the tree-lined road and proceeded to eat his meal in quiet peace as no one else had come up to the roof. He watched the cars go by—there seemed to be a lot of red cars today, he noted—and listened to the musical sound of birds singing in the trees. A light breeze caressed his face and played with his chocolate brown hair. Kai leaned back against the small building that provided shade for him and gazed up at the clear blue sky. It was a shame that people had to be cooped up in a school on such a perfect day.

Without quite realizing it his eyes slowly closed and his breathing had just begun to even out when the suddenly bell rang, startling him out of his unintentional doze. Breathing hard he placed a hand over his heart to calm himself and glanced around mind still a bit foggy from the unintentional nap. Kai took several deep breaths and as his mind rapidly cleared he realized that he was late for class. Scrambling to his feet he grabbed his things and rushed back down the stairs through the halls to his classroom.

Mr Oshiro called him out before he even reached his seat but luck seemed to be with him as his teacher just let him off with a warning and short lecture about the importance of coming to class on time. Kai closed his eyes and turned his head away as if he didn't care. Soon his late arrival was forgotten as his teacher warmed to his subject—the first Mongolian invasion—and began his infamous habit of reenacting the battle. Did he think they were elementary students?

His brain went into autopilot allowing him to take down notes without really listening. Kai had never enjoyed history and Mr Oshiro wasn't helping that feeling. All he wanted right now was for school to finish up. A few hours later his wish was finally granted and the bell rang once more, declaring freedom for the captive students.

Quickly shoving his books into his bag he stood, and headed out the door. He half-expected Miwa to come up behind him, throw an arm over his stiff shoulders and ask him about spending the afternoon at Card Capital. Not that he had the time for that anyway with all the homework his teachers had piled on him. With that thought he headed back toward his apartment grateful that the blond wasn't trying to hover over him as he normally would. Though his grey-eyed friend would be hovering over him soon enough, of that Kai was certain.

* * *

There. The last groceries he had bought to restock his barren refrigerator had all finally been put away. As much as the homework had needed to be done Kai decided that groceries were of a higher priority—after all, the homework had waited this long, it could stand to wait a bit more—and ended up spending most of his afternoon shopping. His headache still hadn't gone away entirely but it had eased up some.

Pulling out the remains of his leftover lunch he sat down cross-legged on the thinly carpeted floor in front his bed. On the small table before him Kai set his plate and the homework he would work on later. Picking up the small black remote he turned on the small satellite TV to catch up on the news while he ate.

"Reports coming in from around the world say that the strange illness that has been affecting a large number of the population mysteriously vanished yesterday afternoon." Images from Europe, the Americas, Africa, and Asia flashed across the screen. Many of them showed cardfighters with dull eyes and twisted grins in the midst of battle. Their opponent's often showed various degrees of rising terror and bleak despair depending on how far into the fight they were.

"The illness had only been effecting cardfighters and appeared cause sudden changes in behavior, short-term amnesia, and extreme exhaustion." The camera focused back in on the middle aged blue-eyed reporter in an grey sweater as he stood outside of a card shop, _"Cardshop Wonders"_. It's bright neon sign contrasted sharply with the silver-haired reporter's words as he continued. "Doctors are stumped by this surprising turn of events and-"

The words hung in the air even after the television blacked out. Kai shakily set the remote down, the food in his mouth rapidly lost its flavor and he swallowed it down hard. What appetite he had had been stolen by the untimely report. He pushed the half filled plate away. Attempting to distract himself from reliving the whole Reverse event he got up, grabbed his homework and set to work at the desk at the end of his bed. Memories were pushed aside and soon his biggest struggle was trying find the correct page in his science book to answer question ten on the corresponding homework. Hours past as his pen scratched at the papers stopping only when he left to get a drink or use the bathroom.

It wasn't until the third yawn interrupted him on his social studies homework that he bothered to glance over at the silver clock set above the TV. Surprised at the time, Kai figured that the rest of the work could wait until morning. He got up and stepped over to a small metal dresser that had been set beside his desk to utilize the limited space of his one person apartment. Rummaging through the drawers the jade-eyed teen wearily found something to change into for the night then took himself off to the bathroom where he showered, dressed and brushed his teeth.

Exiting from there he walked to his desk, plugged in his cell phone for the night—by morning it would be fully charged—then climbed into bed. After pulling up the burgundy covers he turning off the lights leaving only the dim light of his charging phone to push away the darkness that settled around him.

Kai felt himself drifting off fairly quickly, relaxing on the comfortingly soft mattress. His day had been surprisingly peaceful considering the events that had transpired barely twenty-four hours before. Just get up, go to school, do some shopping, eat, work on homework and go to bed. Exciting, right? Not that he was complaining, in fact it really was nice that everything was finally back to normal.

All that was needed was a casual but passionate cardfight or two. Just as he drifted off a nagging thought tickled the back of his mind. He frowned slightly, trying to reach it. There was something he had forgotten but couldn't quite remember. Something about... but the though continued to dance just out of reach before fading away as sleep overtook the brunet.

Perhaps, if he could have reached it things might have been different in the days to come.

* * *

**A/N: Well, what do you think? Did it seem rather OOC? ****Coming Soon... Chapter 2 - Silent Avoidence**


	2. Silent Avoidance

**A/N: Sorry that this is later than I had been planning; life likes to throw in unexpected surprises. Anyway, here is what you have been waiting for. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Silent ****Avoidance**

_"True friendship is like a rose: we don't realize its beauty until it fades." - Evelyn Loeb_

* * *

Sunlight edged its way through the quiet city streets, illuminating the trees and buildings in its early morning glow. It wrapped itself around a jade-eyed brunet as he walked along, highlighting his spiky chocolate-colored hair and and casting little shadows amid the creases of his blue blazer, matching pants, and white dress shirt with a loosened blue tie.

The high schooler moved along the sidewalk enjoying the peaceful morning, the damp sweet smell of dew still clinging to the air mixed with the faint smell of exhaust fumes from passing cars, intermingling with the wake-up call of birds to the sleepy world and crunch of tires on bits of loose gravel. He hadn't bothered to notice his surroundings much when he was in the Reverse. He had been far too focused on finding and fighting strong cardfighters to make Link Joker's power his own to pay attention to unimportant details like that, but now it was as if he were seeing everything again for the first time.

Even so, there was an uneasy twinge in the his stomach for a moment as he approached the brick building that was Hitsue High. Kai quickly dismissed the it as hunger since he hadn't had much of a breakfast—a single cooked egg in fried rice—and silently made his way inside.

A minimal amount of students milled around the grounds out in front of the large building with gleaming windows. Small bits of conversations hung in the air as students chatted and gossiped, one group of girls in particular seemed more excited than usual as the brunet steadily made his way to his classroom, his jade eyes focused on the far end of the grey hall in an effort to ignore the presence of his fan girls. Thankfully, none approached him and Kai was able to continue on his way, soon sliding into his seat and pulling out a few extra pages of homework to work on before class started.

He had already gotten though a good portion of the homework done the night before and, at this rate, hoped to have it finished by the end of the week, it wouldn't do to have extra homework over the weekend when he could be cardfighting. Still, there was a lot left to do which was part of the reason he had gotten to school early. That, and habit.

It didn't take long for the room to fill with chattering students and the jade-eyed teen was relieved that the whispers and murmurs about his long absence seemed to be fizzling out rather quickly. He would have to find a way to thank Miwa for that excuse. Perhaps a few booster packs or some of his Kagerō doubles that the blond would like would do. Then again the brunet could always make his friend a special meal—the grey-eyed teen was always looking for ways to get some of his cooking.

The thought of simply saying, 'thank you', hadn't really cross his mind, not because Kai couldn't or wouldn't say those words. Rather, it was more that he preferred to show his thanks rather than actually saying it, not to mention that whenever he tried to say, 'thank you', the words seemed to come out the wrong way, but the blond would understand what he meant. After all, Miwa was one of the few people who really seemed to understand the brunet and excepted him as he was.

As he was thinking over his options the sound of hurried footsteps came from behind him. The late teen practically dove into the seat in front of Kai, breathing hard as if he had run the entire way to school, his blond hair wind-whipped and wild giving him a completely disheveled appearance. Jade eyes looked up and the brunet smirked.

_'Late again, are we, Miwa?'_

At that moment class began and the blond's last minute rush was soon forgotten.

* * *

_'What's his hurry?'_ Kai wondered as he gathered his things after the bell rang, signalling the end of the school day. The silent blond in front of him had left in a whirlwind, almost beating the bell in an effort to get out of the classroom... or away from someone.

The brunet shook his head then, with a sigh, stood and began to make his way through the halls toward the room where the Hitsue Cardfight Club met. Of course, the club captain would want to arrive early. It wasn't like he was trying to avoid anyone, the blond was just busy, that was all. Ignoring the fact that they hadn't spoken all day—including the blond missing their "lunch date" again—the brunet tried to convince himself that he was just overly paranoid after what had happened with Link Joker.

It didn't take long for Kai to arrive at the room that had been set aside for their club. It was small, with a long table running along the back wall across from the door, chairs and play mats set up in anticipation for the club's members. To the right of the table was a door leading to the gym-like arena fixed with a motion figure system that brought the card game they loved to life.

There were only four members from the high school; Kai, who was by far the best player; Miwa, who was team captain and the go-between for Kai and the rest of the group; Izaki, who was a fairly good cardfighter and the one who tried—with little success—to control his best friend, Morikawa, and lastly Morikawa, who was an obnoxious teen with an obsession for Grade 3's and Kourin from Ultra-Rare. Sometimes, Kamui Katsuragi from the middle school down the road would join them, especially for tournaments and the like.

"Ah! Our first arrival for today's meeting!" Mr Mark called out from the far end of the room as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. His golden hair was spiked straight up and his golden eyes sparkled with a child-like enthusiasm as he pointed a finger at the brunet. "Tell me, are you ready to cardfight?!"

Kai closed his eyes, walking over to one of the chairs. "That's why I'm here."

Before the middle school history teacher could reply, a loud shout erupted from the door way. "The most awesome, amazing cardfighter the world has ever known has now arrived!" Morikawa stood, grinning widely, pointing to himself, dressed in the same blue blazer, white dress shirt and blue pants as Kai and completely oblivious to proper etiquette.

Standing behind him, Izaki sighed. "Morikawa."

"Kai! You're back! I knew you'd return for more of my teachings." Kai closed his eyes and turned his head away, trying to block out the racket.

Mr Mark looked around with a grin. "Well, it looks like everyone is here. How about getting started?"

"Wait a minute. Where's the blond guy?"

Izaki glanced over at his black-haired classmate. "You seriously forgot our team captain's name?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Morikawa! How could you forget Miwa's name?!"

"I don't know." The teen shrugged. "Anyway, where is he?"

Izaki's brown eyes blinked as he realized their team captain's absence. Glancing over, he gazed questioningly at the jade-eyed brunet, assuming the other would know Miwa's whereabouts.

Kai shrugged, resting his check against his hand.

"Beats me."

It was rather odd that the blond was missing a club meeting. Generally, the grey-eyed teen came faithfully, which was part of the reason he was team captain. As far as the brunet knew Miwa had only missed when he was sick, which was unlikely today since he had been in class all day. Though, that could explain the blond's behavior...

"Actually Miwa won't be able to come to club activities for a while." The group turned toward their club supervisor, confused and curious. The man held up a note and Kai blinked recognizing the handwriting to be Miwa's—though, it was a bit more messy then usual, as if he had written it up in a hurry. "He says that he needs to focus on his studies and won't be able to join in any activities for the time being."

Morikawa sighed loudly. "Why doesn't he just come out and say he's quitting the team?"

"He just wants more time to study. That's all," Izaki countered. "You could stand to do a bit more, yourself."

"I'm doing just fine on my own."

"Right, which is why you're failing in every subject."

Troubled jade eyes turned away from the two people's banter to gaze sightlessly out the window. Miwa's behavior over the past two days was starting to bother him. If he hadn't know better he could have sworn the blond was trying to avoid him. The uneasy feeling crept back into his stomach causing him to shake his head slightly. Of course Miwa wasn't avoiding him. The blond wouldn't do that.

Then why couldn't he quite believe it?

* * *

Children laughed, dashing about the large green park as a brunet high school student entered. They raced around, climbing on the metal equipment or playing in a nearby sandbox. A few were playing Vanguard on the top of the slide. Kai glanced over at them, a slight smile gracing his lips. They were so young and innocent, not knowing or caring about the troubles of life, taking each day with cheerful anticipation. Yet, in their own way, they were wise, understanding and seeing what most adults missed or had forgotten.

Making his way to the worn bench that he considered his own, the jade-eyed teen set his black bag down on it, then sat, eyes watching the children as they played in the quiet park. This was the same park his parents would bring him to when he was little. He could still remember his father pushing him on the swings, higher and higher until it was like he was flying, his mother playing in the old sandbox with him, her jade eyes sparkling with laughter. Those happy memories were, perhaps, part of the reason he came here. This place was comforting in its own way.

This park was also the place he had first met Miwa. He could remember the blond-haired boy dashing up to him grinning widely, saying, "I'm Taishi Miwa. Do you want to play with me?" The boy hadn't bothered waiting for a reply, simply grabbing Kai's hand and dragging him off to play. From that day on they had been friends—the best of friends—playing together for hours in the park, sharing secrets in the dark of night during their sleepovers; they did everything together.

At the time they thought nothing could tear them apart, until his parents had died and he moved away, that was, and even when he moved back, things were never quite the same. Time had changed both of them, yet Miwa had refused to get pushed aside like all of Kai's other friends. He had held on, refusing to leave and, as a result, once more became the brunet's best friend.

Then, why did said best friend seem to be avoiding him? The brunet lay down, letting his head rest on his interlocked hands against the firm book bag, thinking over the past two days. They hadn't spoken even once. The blond missed both "lunch dates", and now that he thought about it, Miwa had not even looked him in the eye since the day the Link Joker invasion ended.

But, why?

Was his grey-eyed friend angry with him? He had every right to be. After all, the brunet had Reversed him with his own hands and acted as if he didn't even care. If that was the case, then why didn't the blond seem angry when he and Aichi came down after their final fight? Miwa had seemed glad to see him, giving him a light punch to the shoulder and his signature grin. It didn't seem to add up.

Maybe this was suppose to be some sort of punishment for what he had done. A form of justice for the crimes he had committed. Still, it seemed that the blond would have given the brunet some sort of explanation for what he was doing rather than staying silent. It wasn't like Miwa to stay silent for long.

Jade eyes closed with a sigh. The uneasy feeling was back in his stomach, sending warning chills up his spine. Surely, he was just over reacting; reading into things that had a clear explanation. That had to be it. It had to be, or else...

His thoughts slowly drifted away as the warm sun lulled him to sleep.

* * *

_The middle-aged man trembled before the jade-eyed teen as they fought in the corner of a small park in New York City, sweat rolling down his high forehead and dripping from his large, blunt nose, his red eyes wide with horror as he realized, all to late, the danger he was in. Neither seemed to note the uneasy silence that had fallen over the park, as if everything was holding its breath in dread of what was coming._

_He clutched his cards unable to stop the attacks the cold-eyed brunet sent his way, helplessly watching as the sixth damage fell. There were no miracle triggers to save him from his fate and, soon, the brunet was walking away, screams of agony echoing behind him breaking the dark stillness that had settled over the city as another cardfighter was Reversed._

_The next night in the small, but comfortable, hotel he was staying at that he saw something on the news that caught his eye. Sitting at the end of the bed and sipping on his black coffee the brunet turned up the volume as a young pink-haired reporter covered a report about a man found dead in a city park the day before. Pictures flashed across the screen as she spoke._

_"Reports suggest the man died of a sudden heart attack, apparently after engaging in a cardfight. Witnesses who came across the man have said that his cards were scattered on the ground around him and his opponent nowhere in sight..." The jade-eyed teen stared at the TV, stunned at the news._

_"No way," He gasped. _'T-that... that man... he is the one I Reversed. H-how did...?'_ "Did I just...?"_

"No!" His eyes snapped open, the shout having startling him awake. As he gasped, trembling hands came up to cover his pale face. "No..." The brunet took several deep breaths, trying to calm his pounding heart. Slowly, he began to calm down.

A dream. Just a dream.

No, it was more than just a dream. It had really happened. A man was dead because of what he had done.

It didn't matter that he had never intended to do such a thing. That he had never realized the terrible consequences that the Reverse had. Those were just excuses.

Excuses could not bring back the dead.

Kai sat up, running a hand through his chocolate locks, eyes glancing around to see if anyone had noticed his sudden outburst. Thankfully, the park was now empty, the sun much lower in the sky than it had been when he had first arrived. The children all must have returned home or headed off elsewhere to play. He stood up, grabbing his bag, and strode out of the park toward his apartment, abandoning his plans to go stop in at Card Capital.

He didn't feel like it anymore.

* * *

The next day at school had passed mostly uneventfully. There was only one minimal disturbance when a quiet purple-haired girl with dark brown eyes sitting in the front row sneezed loudly during chemistry class and accidentally knocked over a vial of green liquid she and her blue-eyed study partner were working on; thankfully, no one was injured on the shattered glass, but rest of the class had a good laugh while the teacher tried to calm things down.

Once the mess had been cleaned and class resumed, a nagging feeling started in the pit of the brunet's stomach staying for the rest of class and partway into the next, the feeling restlessly shifting deep inside and sending anxious signals through his mind.

He had sighed and rubbed at his right temple attempting to take his mind off of the fact the blond still not spoken to him or acknowledged his presence. Normally, Miwa would have turned around to make some sort of joke about the mishap to his brunet friend, perhaps hoping to entice a smile out of him, but instead the blond had sat silent in his chair, never once looking behind him to see Kai's reaction to the whole incident.

It had bothered the brunet more than he cared to admit.

Miwa hadn't come to the roof for their "lunch date" or tried to convince him to come to Card Capital with him like he normally did either. Then again, the blond hadn't seemed to be doing anything normally of late—except for attending school—so why should he expect him too?

So, when Kai arrived at Card Capitol after school that day he didn't know what he was expecting to find. The door slid open revealing a busy cardshop overflowing with young children and teens engaged in various stages of cardfights—mostly Cardfight! Vanguard—at the small tables or on the two standing fight tables. Others stood around talking and observing the battles. Colorful posters depicting a variety of trading card games were plastered to the pale walls around the room. At the counter, just inside the door on the left, were various sets of booster packs available for purchase along with a basket for Assiticat to sleep in. The black cat with white paws and markings was, at the moment, sitting beside the basket, primly cleaning his paws, looking up only to meow a greeting to the brunet before continuing to attend to his dirty paw.

At the cat's greeting the lilac-haired girl, dressed in a fitted white blouse, black and red jacket, and long black skirt, behind the counter looked up from the novel she was reading.

"Welcome."

He gave a slight nod her way before moving through the crowded room to one of the last few empty tables near the back. Setting his book bag down, he seated himself in a chair, awaiting a challanger. Within a few minutes, a young blue-haired boy with sapphire eyes spotted him and called out. "Hey, Kai!"

"Aichi." His words might have been lost in the noise from the nearby fights but the younger teen understood. Excusing himself, the blue-haired teen dressed in his school uniform—a white dress shirt, red tie, black and red jacket, and black pants, similar to Misaki's—made his way over to the older teen and sat across from him with a friendly smile. "It sure is busy today."

"Yeah" Aichi glanced around the room, watching his friends enjoy themselves, getting caught up in the thrill of the battle. He was so glad everything was back to normal. "Miwa didn't come with you?"

Kai's eyes darkened slightly, but the younger teen didn't notice. "No."

"Oh. He's probably really busy."

Kai turned his head toward the spot where Kamui and Morikawa were battling, their loud shouts drawing a lot of attention from the people around them. The sick feeling was back and he wondered if it would return every time he saw the blond or whenever he was mentioned.

_'So he says...'_

"Come to think of it, you must be really busy, too. Did your teachers give you lots of homework?"

He wasn't really focusing on the conversation at hand. It was getting hard to ignore the uneasy feeling that kept coming back again and again. If Aichi was wondering about Miwa, then chances were he hadn't seen the blond since the end of Link Joker three days ago, which meant his friend hadn't been to Card Capital recently. Normally, Miwa came around fairly often, hanging out and filling in where necessary.

But, he wasn't dealing with a normal Miwa, now, was he?

"Kai?"

The brunet blinked, suddenly realizing he had zoned out again in the middle of a conversation. Just great.

"What, Aichi?"

The blue-haired boy looked at him with concern. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine." The jade-eyed teen sighed, mentally kicking himself for worrying the younger boy. He worried to much as it was.

"Hey, Kai! Now that I've warmed up on that loser, Morikawa..."

"I am not a loser!"

"Morikawa!" Izaki tried unsuccessfully to calm his friend down after his devastating loss to the middle schooler.

...How about we have another rematch?" Kamui's enthusiastic challenge interrupted whatever Aichi had been going to say next. The spiky-haired brunet closed his eyes for a moment, pushing aside his thoughts about his best friend's apparent avoidance. He brought up a picture of his winning image. His eyes opened as he pulled out his deck.

"If you insist."

It wasn't until he was headed home, the sun setting beautifully over the city, outlining the buildings in a warm golden hue and turning the green leaves into fire, that he realized Miwa hadn't come to the shop all afternoon. Was that because the blond was avoiding him or simply that he had been busy and couldn't come?

He didn't know.

If Miwa really was avoiding him, then there must be a reason.

But, what?

For what reason would his best friend ignore him, avoid him and any place where they could possibly meet, and cut off all contact with Kai? What could drive the warm, cheerful blond to do such a thing?

_'What's going on, Miwa?'_

* * *

**Coming Soon... Chapter 3 - Echos**


	3. Echos

**A/N: Hello, again. Here's your overdue chapter. By the way, if anyone happens to see an unclaimed brain around here, let me know. It's probably mine, since it keeps running off on me. Much obliged!**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Echos**

_"I lost the one person I thought that I could never lose."_

* * *

_He was searching._

_Walking down the busy streets of Auckland, New Zealand, with the sound of cars racing by, madly attempting to get to their destinations on time, the acrid smell of gas mixing with the sweet smell from nearby shops and bakeries filling his nose, indistinct conversations danced in the light wind, the brunet moved toward an unseen destination._

_His jade eyes focused on navigating the crowded sidewalks which were filled with business people, school children and chattering women, rather than stare that the buildings that loomed over him. His search continued until he was standing before a mid-sized shop, large colorful posters for the last booster packs from Magic: The Gathering in the large, sparkling windows, a red and blue neon sign that read 'open', and the shop name, 'Vagabond' above the door._

_A bell chimed as he stepped inside the large shop, causing the black-haired, violet-eyed young man standing behind the clear glass counter on his right to call out a friendly greeting before turning back to finish his business with a green-haired young girl and what appeared to be her older brother. Kai glanced around, noting the booster packs lined up behind the counter, the special, rare, individual cards for sale locked within the counter itself. Towards the back, there were tables and chairs for the patrons, along with colorful play mats for them to use. The shop was rather empty at that moment. Only a few customers were playing at the tables which made him frown slightly in annoyance._

_It didn't take long, however, for the young employee to point out one of their strongest cardfighters for him—a fourteen year old girl with short, silvery hair and light blue eyes. Her bright, cheerful attitude as she accepted his challenge reminded him of his overly-positive friend, Miwa—something that bothered him more than he let on. After all, he had thrown everything away, including his few friendships, for this power._

_How dare she remind him of that decision? How dare she remind him of what he had left behind? Anger rose within. She would pay. The brunet would make sure that she would._

_The jade-eyed teen smirked as his reborn power soon overwhelmed her, burning away that easy smile and uplifting laugh. Terror filled those sparkling, blue eyes as she trembled before him, unknowingly giving him what he desired most; the feeling of power._

_Her screams made him smile._

* * *

Jade eyes blinked as thunder boomed loudly outside the nearby window, distracting him from his teacher's science lesson. The brunet turned his head towards the large windows on his side of the room, seeing that the dark, angry clouds that had been looming like dangerous warships over the high school for hours had finally burst open, drenching the world under them in a torrential downpour. He continued to watch lazily until the heavy rainfall had blurred the windows too much to see much of the world outside of his hushed classroom.

The rain's steady drumming gradually began to ease a small coil of tension in Kai's chest that had been there since he had awoken that morning. The low, slow-moving grey clouds had done nothing to improve his mood after the horrid nightmare he'd had the night before. If anything, they had reminded him all the more of the Reverse and what he had done after giving in to its promise of power.

Awake, he was able to hold off those terrible memories. The brunet had found that, if they came up unexpectedly, he could, for the most part, push them aside—could find a way to distract himself from them and remain in control. But asleep, he was defenseless. With his guard lowered, the memories would surge up in the form of terrible nightmares from which he could not escape. Nightmares that would leave him shaken, gasping for air, trembling and weak.

Even though Aichi had convinced him to not disappear, the shame of his actions and the choices that he had made that day remained. The day that he chose Reverse and betrayed everything that he had stood for. Everything that he had claimed to believe in.

Shuddering slightly at the thought, he turned back to his work only to find after a few minutes that his jade eyes were being drawn up to gaze at the blond seated casually ahead of him.

Five days. Five days since the fall of Link Joker and his grey-eyed friend had continued to avoid him. Miwa had not once turned around during school to whisper to him or make some sly comment like he normally would have, and his once ever-present smile had disappeared. The blond refused to acknowledge him in any way, never looking at him, speaking in class only when spoken to—something that was definitely not like him—had not taken lunch with Kai during school and had not even stopped in at Card Capital.

His behavior was, in a word, disturbing.

Sure, they had had their fair share of spats like anyone else—if they hadn't, then they certainly would not have been friends—though they were rare. But, even then, Miwa had never done anything so drastic as this. Yell at him, yes. Mope around for hours, certainly. Ignore his existence for days, never.

The blond wasn't one to beat around the bush; if he was upset with Kai, he'd let him know. True, sometimes he foolishly acted without totally thinking through the consequences, like when he'd ended up getting held hostage by Jun or his confrontation with the brunet during Reverse, but he never seemed like the kind of person who would avoid the problem. Rather, he was more likely to face it head on, no matter how much it hurt, unlike his jade-eyed friend who tended to run away from his problems with disastrous results.

Maybe that was why Miwa's silence then was so troubling. It just wasn't like him.

It was for that reason that the jade-eyed teen continued to hold onto the fragile hope that, somehow, he was wrong. Over and over the past five days, he had tried to convince himself that what he was seeing wasn't really true—that it was all in his head. Perhaps, if he told it to himself often enough, he might actually come to believe it. To believe that Miwa would come back. That the blond wouldn't just walk away from him, because the alternative meant that he had somehow lost Miwa, just like he had lost his parents. Just like he had lost Ren. Just like he had lost Aichi.

That was why, even though, deep down, he knew the truth, he continued to deny it. Even when the bell rang for their lunch break and the blond shot out of his seat to go wherever he went during the lunch hour, Kai continued to tell himself that it wasn't true, because, sometimes, it's easier to believe a lie than to except the truth.

* * *

Lunch was quiet, just as it had been for the past five days. Normally, Kai would have enjoyed the quiet, but now... Now, it only reminded him of how alone he was. He was seated cross-legged against the grey wall, lunch box before him, eating in silence. The downpour had made the roof impractical, so he had ended up in the empty, grey hall, by the set of stairs that lead to the roof. Thunder rumbled, vibrating the wall at his back and sending a tingling feeling down his spine.

After a while, the brunet sighed and put down his chopsticks. He wasn't very hungry, even though he had taken a good share of his early morning to prepare his lunch. In fact, he felt off, like he was coming down with a cold or the like. The thought flickered through his mind that perhaps his loss of appetite had something to do with Miwa's behavior and the jade-eyed teen immediately shoved it aside. Feeling suddenly restless, he stood. Maybe a quick walk would clear his head and give him back his appetite.

He set off down the hall with no particular destination in mind, hands in his pockets, head tilted down and eyes closed. As a child, he had tried walking like that as an experiment, trying to see what it would be like to be blind. What it would be like to only rely on what you could hear and feel to know where you were. Now, it was a shield, erected to protect him from those around him and to drive them away.

He had been on his way back, feeling more relaxed after his stroll, when he heard a familiar voice humming Ultra Rare's latest single—released just before Reverse happened. The brunet paused mid-step, jade-eyes opening and peering through his thick, brown bangs towards the only other occupant in that part of the hall.

The blond was wearing his usual uniform with a pink hoodie underneath. His hands were tucked casually in the pockets and he didn't seem to be paying too much attention to his surroundings. Miwa paused suddenly, noticing the brunet's presence. His grey eyes momentarily glanced over the jade-eyed teen who he had been approaching unawares. Then, without a word, he turned and hurried away in the opposite direction.

Kai stared after him, too stunned to move. Miwa had just walked away from him. Literally walked away.

His mind froze momentarily, then started again, scrambling to find an answer. How could he...? Why had...? His chaotic thoughts jumped from one to the next before he could finish the first one. For a moment, he felt the world spinning around him, breaking apart from within. Taking a deep breath, he managed to regain his composure and quickly turned away.

Almost stumbling, he went back to where he'd left the rest of his meal—not that he was going to eat the rest of it now. The brunet quickly cleaned up, putting the box containing his meal away. As he did so, he noticed that his hands had begun to tremble. Kai gritted his teeth in frustration at this outward sign of weakness and stood quickly, only to fall against the wall as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Dimly, he heard the bell ring, echoing through the halls, calling students back to their classes.

Once he was sure that he wouldn't collapse, he headed in that direction as well, but it wasn't until he entered the classroom that he realized that he would have to face Miwa. That is, he would be sitting behind him, as per usual. Gritting his teeth, he sat, pulled out his books and spent the rest of the school day trying, and failing, to pay attention to his teachers, rather than on the blond ahead of him.

* * *

Kai sat at his desk, glaring down onto the half-finished history report that he was attempting to work on. It wasn't going well, as the incident in the hall earlier that day was playing over and over in his mind—the way that Miwa had been so calm and carefree, as if there hadn't been anything unusual about his behavior for the past week. How he had paused to glance over Kai, yet had not even really looked at him. It had almost seemed to the brunet that his friend had been looking _past _him, instead. Of course, there was how the blond had turned and hurried away from him.

What bothered the brunet the most was the fact that Miwa had walked away from him without a word. The grey-eyed teen had never done that before. In truth, Kai was usually the one to walk away, the blond scrambling to keep up with him. The other teen had always followed him—had always been there like some sort of lost puppy or living, breathing shadow, but not this time.

This time was different.

This time he couldn't deny what had happened. He couldn't write it off as some sort of misunderstanding or any of the other excuses that he had tried to lie to himself with. The small flickering flame of hope that he had been holding onto this entire time had, in one moment, gone out. Fingers tightened around the thin, sharpened pencil in his hand, threatening to snap it in two.

"Why?"

_"I've got your back, buddy... You'd probably rather that I just looked the other way, but that wouldn't make me much of a pal... I'm here for you."_

So, where was he now? How could Miwa do this? Why would the blond stay with him even in Reverse only to leave once everything was back to normal?

Jade-eyes narrowed, sparking with anger. It burned in his chest, numbing his mind and dulling the ache in his heart.

_'So, that's the way it is, huh?'_

It hurt to think that his childhood friend was gone, after everything that they had been through together. After how close they had become—as close as brothers; best friends, in a sense. In a way, it was almost as if the blond had died, but worse in the fact that he saw him at school almost every day.

Kai shook his head. He was dwelling on this too much—as often happened when things went wrong—and needed to clear his mind. He stood, taking his Narukami deck off the little shelf on the desk, then headed out, locking the door behind him.

* * *

The sky was clear the next morning as Kai made his way to the park where he planned to spend his Saturday morning. The trees, thoroughly watered the day before, were lush and green with life. Their leaves gleamed, speckled with droplets of liquid diamonds, catching the rays of the early morning sun in a burst of light. The thick grass swished pleasantly under his feet as he made his way over to his favorite bench, kept mostly dry by the tree that stood guarding it.

As he sat down, a black cat with white paws and markings jumped up onto the bench beside him. He glanced over at the cat's smug blue eyes.

"Were you waiting for me, Assiticat?"

The cat meowed, tilting his head a little and scratching at the brunet's black pants. Obligingly, the teen reached over and scratched behind the cat's flicking ears. A small, but genuine smile came as the cat purred in contentment, leaning into his hand. They remained that way for a while, both enjoying the presence of the other.

Odd as it seemed to some, Kai had always liked cats. Cats were much better than dogs who, after the incident where one had chased him when he was five, tended to frighten him. Cats were independent and stubborn, but could be loyal and sweet as well. They were a lot alike in many ways. In spite of that, he had only owned one cat in his life. He smiled faintly as he remembered first finding that kitten in this very park.

_"It's okay, little guy." The seven year old blond crouched at the edge of a large bush, peering between the leaves. "I'm not gonna hurt you."_

_"What are you doing, Miwa?" The brunet boy stood over his friend, curious. He had come to play with the blond only to find him, to all appearances, talking to a bush._

_"I'm trying to get him to come out." Miwa motioned towards something within the bush as he shifted to lie flat on his stomach. Kai crouched down to peer through the soft green leaves. He could just see what seemed to be... a ball of fur... that was moving? "But maybe you'll have better luck than me."_

_Jade-eyes narrowed in thought before he lowered himself to the ground like his friend. Being careful not to move too quickly, he slowly worked his way under the bush until his entire upper body was concealed. There, hidden within the twisting branches and leaves, was a kitten—bluish grey with large, frightened blue eyes._

_"Hey, there," he murmured. A soft, delicate ear twitched at the sound as the kitten curled tighter into its hidden alcove. Kai felt bad for the poor kitten and, after a few minutes of sweet talking, managed to coax the little thing into his arms. Then, he carefully exited the bush, twigs and leaves caught within his spiky brown hair, and he stood with the kitten safely in his arms._

_After a few moments of discussion with the blond, they had decided that he would take the blue-eyed kitten home. His parents were far more likely to let him keep the little thing, Miwa had reasoned, so that had been the most logical choice._

_"So, what are you going to call him?"_

_The Kai shrugged as they walked out of the park towards his house. He looked down at the sleeping kitten cradled carefully in his arms. "Don't know."_

_The grey-eyed boy hummed in thought, grabbing his chin with a grubby hand. After a moment he brightened. "I know! You could call him Coco!"_

_"But he's grey."_

_"Then, maybe Beach!" One look at Kai's face told Miwa that that name was out as well. He sighed._

_"Seal." The jade-eyed boy stopped, staring at the kitten, a slow smile forming on his face. He looked up at his friend's curious gaze. "His name is Seal!"_

Seal had lived with him for the next several years, growing sleek and healthy with all the care, love and attention that she got. The vet had informed them that 'he' was actually a 'she', not that it mattered to the brown-haired boy. She had slept on his bed every night and waited at the door each day for him to come home from school.

His throat tightened as he suddenly wondered what had happened to her. The first few days after his parents died had a been a numbed blur. Had she been given away, or taken to a shelter somewhere? He hoped that she hadn't ended up back on the streets.

A faint meow broke through his thoughts and he looked down. Assiticat gazed back, tail flicking. He could almost hear him saying not to worry about it—that everything had somehow worked out. A long finger scratched under the cat's chin in thanks. Then, he stood. Hands in his pockets, he walked back toward his apartment with the black and white cat following.

* * *

Kai gazed down at his cards which were spread across the small table in front of the TV. They had been carefully separated into groups by Grade, type, and skill. Also included were some of the extras that he swapped in and out of deck from time to time. The Kagerō deck really didn't need reworking, but he had that hoped doing so would be a good distraction from more unpleasant thoughts. It wasn't working very well.

Usually, Miwa or Ren could easily keep him from getting too caught up in his own troubles—the blond especially—but since Miwa was currently the source of said troubles, he was out. The brunet didn't really feel like bothering Ren, either, even though he knew that the redhead wouldn't mind the company. It was more that he didn't want the other to get involved, which could inevitably happen. This was his and Miwa's problem—there was no need to drag anyone else in. So, there he was, trying to keep himself busy.

Picking up one of his copies of Dragonic Overlord, he studied it. It was the unit that he had claimed as his true form—his avatar. To think that he had never intended to keep it when he first pulled it from that booster pack years ago. Originally, the brunet was going to give it to Miwa as a birthday present, since he played Royal Paladins.

But then, the accident happened. His parents had died and he had moved away before he had the chance give the card to the blond. In the end, he'd built himself a Kagerō deck based around that copy of Overlord as a part of starting over.

Before, he had identified with Blaster Blade—the heroic white knight that he had given away. Kai could still remember that wish to be like that knight.

_Two young boys lay on their backs in the freshly-clipped grass at the large park that they frequented, studying the cloudy blue sky. It was a perfect day to be outside—not too warm and not too cold. A light breeze ruffled blond hair as grey eyes studied the clouds._

_"That one's a tree."_

_Jade eyes narrowed, following the finger to the cloud. "Looks more like a tower."_

_"No. It's definitely a tree."_

_"Humph. It's a tower."_

_"Tree," Miwa countered. "There's a bird in a nest right there."_

_Kai studied the clouds for a moment before answering. "That's a princess locked in a tower. See?" His finger traced the outline of something that his best friend could not see._

_The other boy squinted, then shook his head. "Nope."_

_A comfortable silence fell between them for a while. There was only the soft wind rustling through the grass, chirping birds in the tall trees above them and the faint sound of cars going by. After a while, the jade-eyed boy spoke._

_"I wonder what it's like..."_

_"What?" The blond turned his head towards his friend, confused._

_"Haven't you ever wondered what it's like to be in one of those stories, Miwa? To be the hero who saves the day?" He sat up, looking thoughtful._

_"Aahhh... No. Not really."_

_"Someday..." The brunet clenched his fist. He turned towards the grey-eyed boy on the ground with an earnest expression. "Someday, I'll be the hero. I'll save the day and have adventures -"_

_Miwa sat up as well, breaking in with a wide grin. "… And fight dragons and kiss the princess."_

_Kai started to nod his head as the blond spoke, only to shake his head fiercely at the thought of kissing a girl._

_"Nah... I'll fight the dragons." A mischievous glint appeared in his jade eyes. "But you can kiss the princess!"_

_"Eeewww! No way!"_

_The brunet boy started to laugh at the disgusted look on Miwa's face. The other stuck his tongue out at him, then began to laugh as well, unable to stay mad at Kai for long._

They had been so innocent back then with hardly a care in the world. Back then, he'd dreamed of being the hero, not knowing that, in the end, he would become the villain.

A faint rumble came from within, interrupting his thoughts. Looking up at the clock, he was surprised by how much time had gone by. It was well past supper time. The brunet didn't really feel like cooking, but decided that a bit of toast wouldn't hurt anything. It would be better than nothing.

* * *

Lying in bed that night, the dark pressing in around him, his thoughts once more turned to his best friend. Yesterday, he had been angry at his grey-eyed friend. Angry and confused.

Yet, if he were to be honest with himself, he was more hurt than angry. Hurt that, after all this time, Miwa would leave him. After all the times that he had said, "I've got your back," the blond had left. There had been no explanation. No warning, which was what confused the brunet. It wasn't like his friend to do something like that. It wasn't like him to suddenly drop out of Kai's life. He hadn't even called or texted once to check in on the jade-eyed teen, something that he tended to do on a regular basis, which meant that something was wrong.

But, what?

Looking back, he wondered if he should have done things differently the day before. Should he have followed Miwa? Should he have called out to him and demanded an explanation? Would things be different if he hadn't just let him go? Perhaps he would try to corner the blond at school on Monday and find out what was going on.

A small whisper of doubt rose up. Was that the right thing to do? What if he ended up pushing his friend further away?

He sighed loudly, rolling over onto his side. This was pathetic. He couldn't even make a decision without doubting himself. Firmly pushing the matter aside, he closed his eyes and soon drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Eh. It's a bit scatterbrained... but at least it's here. I am also open to any suggestions that you might have for this fic. :)**

**Coming Soon... Chapter 4 – Confrontation.**


	4. Confrontation

**Chapter 4**

**Confrontation**

_"The most painful thing in the world is thinking of losing someone who is always beside you."_

* * *

_The brunet dashed through the busy streets which were filled with people, his jade eyes fixed on the figure who was running ahead of him. More than once, he accidentally bumped or pushed someone in the midst of his mad dash and he cringed inwardly at the angry shouts that followed him, though he didn't slow down._

_It felt as if he had been running forever. His blue v-neck shirt clung to his sweating body and his spiky brown hair was plastered to his forehead. He kept going; he kept pressing on. He had to catch up to the teen in front of him._

_"Miwa!"_

_The blond easily made his way through the crowded street, not seeming to have heard the brunet's call. His brown jacket flapped lightly in the breeze, allowing Kai to catch a glimpse of the orange shirt underneath. He seemed to know exactly where he was going, never once second-guessing himself as he raced along._

_Kai panted as he continued to follow; his breath hitched painfully as he tried to ignore the throbbing ache in his side. Since when could Miwa run faster than him? The blond-haired teen hadn't been able to outrun his best friend since the third grade when they were on the school soccer team. Sweat was rolling down his face, dripping into his eyes and interfering with his ability to see properly. Kai brought an arm up to brush away the burning liquid, gritting his teeth in frustration._

_Once he had regained his vision, the jade-eyed teen rapidly glanced around in panic before finally locating the other teen. Sights set on his friend, he began to notice that the streets which were overflowing with people before had thinned out. Tall trees lined the streets as the towering buildings and shops gave way to simple, but beautiful, homes. The crowds thinned and fewer cars went by as the brunet ran along, and the air smelled fresher. Cleaner._

_His throat was dry from his gasping. It burned and ached as he attempted to take in enough air to call out again._

_"M-Miwa... Slow... down!"_

_His right foot hit a patch of loose gravel, unexpectedly throwing him off balance and causing him to stumble forward. Kai fought to stay on his feet, but to no avail. He was falling—crashing down hard against the earth, the air forced from his lungs. For a moment, all was still as he lay there, fallen, too stunned to move, to breathe, to think. But, it was only for a moment. The next brought a sharp, painful gasp that returned air to his starving lungs, clearing his mind and returning his strength._

_Kai pushed himself up, fingers digging into the soft grass and cool earth before he let go to stand, swaying a little on his feet. He took a good look around, realizing once again that the scenery had changed. This time, he was standing in some sort of park, the grass at his feet stretching out to meet the endless, blue sky overhead. The trees were dancing slightly in the gentle breeze that sprang up. Birds sang sweetly in the trees overhead._

_The brunet quickly set off, walking this time, somehow sensing that Miwa was close by. Had he heard his call and was waiting for him? It took only a moment for him to catch a glimpse of familiar blond hair on a nearby hilltop and he started to head that way. His friend was just standing there, completely still except for the bouncing of his hair in the wind, gazing down at something that Kai could not see._

_Something felt wrong. Very wrong._

_"Miwa?" He called out hesitantly, pausing halfway up the grassy slope. There was no response. Cautiously, he walked towards the blond who remained still—almost as if he had been turned to stone—the uneasy feeling growing stronger the closer he came. Reaching Miwa, he paused beside him. Slowly, his friend turned towards him, his grey eyes strangely dull as they met Kai's eyes. After a moment, Miwa finally turned away and pointed silently down at what he had been studying before._

_Kai turned and gasped._

_"No." His body began to shake as he stared in disbelief at the sight before him. "No... I-It can't be!"_

_It was a headstone—the kind that one saw in cemeteries—light grey and plain, except for the words etched which were into its face—words that stopped the brunet's heart, burning the image into his memory._

_It was Miwa's grave._

_'There's no way. This isn't possible!'_

_His shaking legs gave out, suddenly sending him to the ground. Kai could feel his mind and body going numb with shock. Salty tears pricked at his eyes and he squeezed them shut, chest heaving as he fought for air. It wasn't true. It couldn't be true!_

_A voice, flat and emotionless, broke through his stunned daze. "Goodbye, Kai."_

_"Miwa, wait -"_

_But, it was too late. Miwa was gone. Forever._

His eyes snapped open as he cried out, a trembling hand stretching upwards, grasping at the cold, empty air. In the darkness, it took several moments for Kai's sleep-fogged mind to realize where he was—in his apartment, safe in his own warm bed.

It was just a dream. A nightmare.

His body shuddered as he curled under the moonlit covers, shaken to the core. Breathless gasps filled the air as salty tears spilled over, soaking his pillow. Pale lips trembled as they soundlessly formed a name.

_'Miwa.'_

* * *

Kai blinked as he stepped out of the small card shop into the bright afternoon sun. It took only a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light flooding into the narrow, downtown street lined with flowering trees—which had bloomed beautifully earlier that spring—quaint shops and outdoor cafes. He soon headed away towards the bus stop, a sharp gust of wind tugging at his navy blue jacket and fitted black pants as the heels of his brown boots thumped quietly along the warm concrete sidewalk.

The brunet had spend almost the entire day cardfighting in one shop after another, pulverizing his opponents with his Kagerō flames. Even so, he could not break the grip that his dream from the night before held on him. It would rise before his eyes—would whisper in his ears, haunting him.

Was it a sort of premonition—a warning of things to come, or was it simply the manifestation of his fears? He shook his head as the white double decker-bus sporting pink and blue stripes pulled up and he entered. After paying the fare, he made his way to an open seat near the back, not wanting to bother with finding seating on the more popular top deck. Dreams were simply dreams. Nothing more, nothing less.

As he watched the scenery flash by, Kai tried to ignore the dull ache in his heart that had been there for days. He had thought that he would confront Miwa about his behavior and hopefully gain some answers as to why his friend was doing this, but now, he wasn't so sure. If that dream was a warning—and it was a very big 'if'—then would the blond be driven further away by his prying? What could it lead to?

He sighed silently, wishing that there was some way to stop the endless flow of thoughts. The brunet was tired of the never-ending thoughts that were getting him nowhere. Some sort of distraction to keep him from overthinking all of this would be welcome. It wasn't long before one was provided as the bus arrived at his stop. He stood, making his way carefully down the aisle, around the other occupants to the front doors.

The fresh air felt good after the stifling atmosphere inside the crowded bus. Kai turned, walking down the quiet street with his hands in his pockets, not quite ready to go back to the silent apartment. The weather was nice, if a little chilly for late spring. Lazy white clouds were floating in the brilliant blue sky and birds chirped cheerfully in the trees overhead.

The jade-eyed teen wandered aimlessly with no particular destination in mind. He paid no attention to the people talking around him, the colorful shops, or the cars passing by. Like his body, Kai's thoughts wandered, taking up a thought for a while before moving on to the next. It wasn't until a familiar voice call out to him that his thoughts were broken.

Kai glanced up, catching sight of bright blue hair across the street. The younger teen was smiling, his white jacket reflecting the Sun's rays, making him seem as if he was almost glowing, contrasting nicely with his dark blue pants and matching shoes. The boy opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off by his peach-haired sister who had noticed that Aichi had stopped walking.

With a frustrated, "Hurry up, Aichi," she dragged her brother away by the wrist, much to Kai's amusement. The blue-haired teen managed a wave and the brunet gave a slight nod of acknowledgement, smirking at the submissiveness of his friend.

The boy had changed a lot since the day that Kai first met him at the edge of a park years ago. Before, those sapphire blue eyes had been dim and empty—hopeless. Aichi had merely endured life, slowly breaking beneath the weight of a world that seemed to despise him.

Then, Kai had come along, unknowingly fueling the tiny spark of hope that had been dying within the younger boy with his gift. It had been a chance encounter—fate, some said—and, even now, the brunet wasn't exactly sure why he had given the beaten boy his Blaster Blade card. That split-second decision, however, would change both of their lives.

He hadn't expected to be the one to teach the kid how to play or that their fight would remind him of the joy that Vanguard had once been for him. After that, he had found himself watching the boy, silently marveling at the potential that he saw in him. There was something about Aichi that had fascinated him, inspiring him to become even better as a cardfighter.

He'd traveled the world in search of greater power, fighting opponent after opponent to push himself to greater heights within the world of Vanguard. The price had been his friendships—what few he had—though, at the time, he didn't mind. If that was what it took to be the best, then so be it. After all, what good are friends if you didn't have the power to protect them?

Truly, he had never meant to let Aichi gain a place in his heart. Kai didn't know how the other had slipped past the defenses that he'd put up to keep others away.

Somewhere along the way, the meek highschooler with a pure, noble heart had become someone very special to his standoffish, lonely idol. He had become someone who could challenge Kai, inspire him and bring out the best in the brunet. Aichi was someone that the older teen could walk beside as a friend and face as a rival. In the end, Aichi had become his best friend.

Why, then, did he still sometimes think of Miwa as his best friend, too?

He paused, breaking out of his thoughts to notice that he had wandered into the park that the blue-haired teen would often go to when he was sad or lonely. It was a nice park with its simple landscaping, trees and shaded benches; there was even a sandbox for the children to play in. Quietly, the brunet walked over to the koi pond, the fish making ripples in the manmade pool as his shadow was cast over the water, his jade eyes narrowed in thought.

His cheerful friend had always been there since they had first met—always ready to offer a smile and crack a joke. It wasn't above the teen to pull a prank on someone just because he could or to help out a classmate only to be left in the shadows as the other took the limelight. He never seemed to mind, though, for as much as he thrived on attention, Miwa's main focus was on the needs and happiness of others. He seemed to live for the people around him, going to great lengths to do and be whatever was needed.

Miwa knew just how to put others—especially Kai—at ease. He knew the quiet, distant teen better than anyone, seeming to understand what the other was feeling, even when the people around them could only see the brunet's emotionless mask. The blond's perceptiveness, mostly hidden by his seeming obliviousness, startled Kai at times. Sometimes, he even wondered if Miwa could read his thoughts.

Even Aichi couldn't read him so well. Yet, Miwa couldn't push or inspire Kai like the younger cardfighter could. What did that make him, then? How could he think of the both of them as his best friends when you were supposed to have only one 'best friend'?

Maybe that was the problem—thinking that you could only have one best friend. Aichi and Miwa were a lot alike. Both were generally cheerful, optimistic people who cared deeply about Kai. Yet, at the same time, they were very different and played different roles in his life. Aichi pulled him forwards, encouraging the older teen get even stronger. Miwa was there behind him to pick up the pieces when he fell; he was Kai's faithful—and only—support system.

Aichi was his vanguard and Miwa was his rearguard. If the Link Joker event had taught him anything, it was that one needed both to survive the battle. If one was without the other, then there was no way that they could survive.

In their own unique way, Aichi and Miwa were both his best friends. Each was something that the other could never be and they were both irreplaceable.

Waning sunlight highlighted his sharp features as he looked up at the clear, blue sky. Jade green eyes filled with determination. Tomorrow, he was going to find some answers.

* * *

He dressed quickly the next morning in his freshly-ironed blue blazer, pants and white collared shirt. Standing before the bathroom mirror, he became aware of the slightly pinched look in his face and the exhaustion in his eyes. Kai recognized the look that came from missing multiple meals, having seen it before, though it didn't change the fact he hadn't felt like cooking lately.

He blinked, remembering what he was suppose to be doing and carefully knotted his blue school tie for the second time that morning. The first had been a near disaster that had been almost too much to undo without scissors.

Of course, it wasn't anything compared to the knots that he had managed before Miwa had taught him the proper way to tie a tie. He hadn't learned until just before his senior year of high school, simply because he had never cared to before. It wasn't until—no, it was better not to think about _that_ incident—that he had cornered his cheerful friend and managed to get a few lessons in tie tying. The end result was that the brunet could tie his own ties and the blond had something new to tease him about.

It wasn't long after he had dressed that he was on his way, not having bothered to pack a lunch since he probably wouldn't eat it, anyway. A faint voice in the back of his head—sounding suspiciously like Miwa—reminded him that his body needed some sort of nourishment to keep going. He brushed it aside, knowing that he had gone longer without eating before. Besides, if he tried forcing himself to eat now, it would only make matters worse.

The first part of the day went as usual. Miwa arrived at the last possible minute before class started, then proceeded to remain silent and still the rest of the morning. Kai studied him, determined more than ever to find out what was going on. He just needed an opportunity.

* * *

It was during the last ten minutes of their lunch break that the opportunity finally presented itself. He had been roaming the empty grey halls in the hopes of 'accidentally' coming across his friend. Not having run into him, Kai had decided to visit the restroom before the next class started. Walking to the closest one, he opened the cold, silver door to find Miwa washing his hands in the left-hand sink.

Grey eyes glanced up into the mirror before him as the door opened behind him opened. Hands, still covered in soap suds, froze at the sight of his best friend. Kai paused, surprised that this was where he had found his wayward friend, then turned his head away. Only the sound of running water was heard for a long moment, then the brunet spoke.

"Miwa."

The blond, dressed in his uniform and typical pink hoodie, flinched at the tone.

"This... is about Link Joker, isn't it?" The other boy silently began rinsing his hands, avoiding eye contact as he shadowed his eyes with his long, blond bangs. There was no answer—not that Kai was expecting any. Taking Miwa's silence for a 'yes', he bowed his head again.

Silence reigned, awkwardly pressing in around them, trying to push one or both into breaking its hold. Miwa couldn't flee since Kai was still standing by the door, though he sensed that that was what the other wanted to do. After several long minutes of silence where only the sound of their breathing could be heard, the brunet cardfighter spoke.

"I-I should not have expected you to forgive me so easily." He started to walk to the right where the cold, silver stalls were. His friends words—the first in seven days—stopped him in his tracks.

"It's not that," Miwa whispered. "I-I've already forgiven you... for that."

Surprised by the raw honesty in his friend's voice, Kai kept his head down, not turning around to face Miwa. "Then... why?"

Again, silence. The brunet could hear the blond's breathing start to become ragged as he waited.

"I-I... It's just..." Pink sneakered shoes scuffed at the floor nervously, peaking Kai's curiousity. What was making his friend so nervous? What was this about?

"I c-couldn't... Can't..."

A sharp gasp.

"I'm sorry!"

The brunet turned, catching a glimpes of Miwa's pale face and pain-filled eyes just before the other fled. He remained that way for a long moment as the restroom door slammed and the sound of running footsteps faded away down the hall. Hands clenched, and Kai wasn't sure whether he was more hurt, angry or frustrated by what had just happened.

A fist slammed into the wall.

"Darn it!" The words echoed throughout the empty room as Kai leaned his head against the cool wall.

* * *

**A/N: This may be the last update to this story for a while as my summer schedule doesn't give me much time for writing. :( I should be able to update again starting early September, though. Just remember that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'. Hope you have a great summer! Please review. :)**

**Coming Next... Chapter 5 - Kai's Choice**


	5. Kai's Choice

**A/N: I'm back! Summer was nice, but _very_ busy. Things have slowed down some so maybe I will actually have time to write and review again. Hopefully, this chapter will make up for the extra long wait you all had. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**Kai's Choice**

_"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." ― Bob Marley._

* * *

Empty. He felt empty, leaning there against the restroom wall, face shadowed by his long bangs while a florescent light flickered over the chrome sink. Kai stared at the tiny drops of water that beaded across the sink's smooth surface, fragments of light dancing within them. There had been feelings of frustrated anger and confused loss for a short time, but those had now drained away into numbed emptiness that filled him with a deep-rooted exhaustion, seeping its way into his bones.

Kai had no idea how to mend the gulf that had opened up between Miwa and himself. It seemed to be widening more rapidly every day before his eyes. How was he to stop it—to recover the damage that had already been done? The highschooler didn't even know what had caused it, though he was fairly certain that it was his fault.

_'Everything is your fault,'_ his own thoughts muttered accusingly. That only served to make him let out a dry, quiet chuckle and empty smirk, as his heart began to ache. He made no attempt to deny the thought however, as there wasn't much point in doing so. It was true, after all.

It had been his fault that he had lost Ren and Aichi, pushing the younger cardfighters too far, only to watch them fall into the darkness. To think that he was watching Miwa slip away just as they had, without warning, and with a never-ending, throbbing pain in his own heart. There had been signs—the teen knew—that he had ignored or simply didn't notice when he had lost Ren.

It had been easier to see them in Aichi, what with his wounded heart still aching from the loss of the redhead, even after all that time. In spite of that, he had barely been able to save the younger boy that he, himself, had pushed over the edge. Somehow they had both been returned, managing to convince everyone that they were not the worse for wear, though he could see in their eyes that they would never be the same again.

Now, he was losing Miwa too. It hadn't been anything that was said aloud—his best friend had hardly spoke during the confrontation, if one could call it that—but it was there. A coldness had been in the air—tension that spoke louder than words. Kai's throat ached and, when he tried to swallow, there was an uncomfortable lump that refused to budge. His chest felt too tight, and it hurt to breathe. He closed his eyes, wishing that his heart would quit throbbing—wishing that, somehow, he could go back to the way things were—the way they should be.

_'You said you'd be there for me—that you had my back.' _Their friendship, unshaken by any of the troubles that they had shared in the past, had all seemingly crumbled overnight. Miwa turning his back on him had been the last thing he'd been expecting, and it was like being stabbed in the back.

When had all of this started? Was it from what had happened with Link Joker? Miwa had said that it wasn't about that—that he'd already forgiven the brunet for what he had done. But, if that was the case, then why avoid the person you called your best friend?

He was still mulling over what the older highschooler had said when the bell rang, calling any lingering students back to class. It took a moment to find the will to move, but he did, slowly straightening as he remembered why he'd come there in the first place. As he moved away from the wall, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, pausing for a second to take in his tired, pale face before turning away.

By the time he got to class, the teacher was well into his lesson and none too pleased at his student's tardiness. It didn't matter much to Kai when, after he had slipped into his seat and pulled out his books, notepaper and pens, he found himself gazing at the empty, sunlit seat in front of him.

Miwa didn't return.

* * *

Kai frowned down at the homework grasped within his hands as he walked along the sidewalk of yet another street. Since the blond had skipped out on all the afternoon classes, he had been commissioned to make sure that Miwa would be able to receive his homework. It wasn't a bad plan, except for one thing; he didn't know where Miwa lived.

It wasn't like he had never been to his house before. He had been there a few times when they were kids, but not very often. More often than not, Miwa would come over to his house to play or stay the night. He always seemed to like it better for some reason, especially when his mom was in the kitchen, making some special treat. Sometimes, Kai had felt a bit jealous when his friend wanted to help his mom make dinner instead of play games with him.

It hadn't taken long before his mother had realized what was going on and had sat him down on the soft, light brown couch in the white-walled living room to talk. Quietly, she had explained that Miwa didn't get to spend much quality time with his parents and that his older siblings were often busy with other things.

It shouldn't have surprised Kai as much as it did. After all, the few times he'd he'd been over to Miwa's, he had not really seen much of his friend's family, except for his older sister when she was making dinner for the family or, at times, his brother telling them to quiet down. Most of the time, they played outside, or in Miwa's room, and he had not been able to remember actually seeing his friend's parents much during those times.

After that talk, it hadn't bothered Kai so much when his best friend would slip into the kitchen to help his mom bake or cook. In fact, he had started joining them, discovering that it was much more fun to make a meal with someone else than just by yourself and, soon, it was one of the things they did regularly whenever the grey-eyed boy was over.

Once he had moved back, Miwa had tried to get him to open up more. More than once, the older teen had invited Kai over to his house only to be turned down much of the time, though he had managed to get Kai to come over just once, not long before the national tournament. Much of the time, they were either at Card Capital, the park, or the Vanguard Café. Every now and again, the blond would come over to Kai's place, mostly because he had followed the jade-eyed teen home.

The end result was that Kai wasn't very certain on which house was his friend's home, though he knew which neighborhood Miwa lived in. Walking down the quiet street to the corner, he made a left-hand turn and eventually found himself standing in front of a simple home. There wasn't much that set is apart from the other homes in the neighborhood. The greenery could have used a bit of trimming and the front door needed its white paint job touched up a little, but nothing major. Still, it felt vaguely familiar to the brunet, which lead him to the conclusion that this was likely Miwa's home.

Kai's feet felt like lead as he walked towards the front door, his heart picking up speed at the thought of possibly seeing his best friend again. What was he going to say to him? Would the slightly older teen invite him in to talk things out or would the door be slammed in his face? Was this even the right house?! The highschooler swallowed hard and tried not to think about the possibilities.

The still air draped itself around him, doing nothing to relieve the pressure that closed in around him as he walked past the flowerbeds filled with bright poppies, white and yellow daisies and soft pink chrysanthemums, the soles of his stiff, black shoes thumping against the worn cement walkway. Stepping onto the welcome mat, to the left of which was a small, potted rose bush, he hesitated for a moment, then lifted a hand to ring the doorbell. There was a long pause as the brunet stood waiting at the door, eyes closed and ears straining to catch any sound of approaching feet. After a few minutes, he rang the doorbell again, only for it to also remain unanswered.

He shifted restlessly, anxiety mounting with every passing minute.

To all appearances, there was no one at home. However, the Kagerō cardfighter was fairly certain that that was not the case, and the thought frustrated him. Giving a resigned sigh, he stepped back and glanced around for a place to lay Miwa's papers, before deciding to drop them into the mailbox where they could easily be found. Without a backwards glance, he headed back to the road and paused for just a moment where the walkway met the sidewalk.

There was a sudden urge to turn around and, for a moment, he almost gave in before heading off at a brisk pace.

* * *

_"You'd probably just prefer if I looked the other way, but that wouldn't make me much of a pal, would it?" Miwa gazed at his best friend whose dark jacket, red scarf and black pants only seemed to emphasize his current state under the power of Link Joker. His grip tightened around his deck as he called out a challenge, seeming to believe that he could alter Kai's course, much to the younger teen's inner amusement. A red, transparent table formed in front of each cardfighter as Takuto's aid watched from the sidelines, the birds going silent as an ominous presence filled the air._

_"You're going down," Kai stated. His jade eyes narrowed slightly as the blond growled in response. He already knew how this was going to end; to think otherwise was foolish when he had the power of Link Joker flowing through him. If his so called 'best friend' thought that he could change his mind or beat him at his own game, then the brunet would have to show him otherwise by crushing the determination lighting those grey eyes._

_The fight that ensued was similar to the many other cardfights that they'd had, yet the tension and intensity between them was slowly building towards an agonizing climax. It was not a battle of skills, for they were fairly well-matched, each playing with well-practiced ease, even as the world seemed to stand still around them. It was a battle of the mind and heart. This was the first time in years that they had stood apart, fighting against each other in a battle that neither could afford to lose. Everything was on the line—their freedom, their world, their friendship._

_"What do you say, Kai? Am I doing it justice..." Miwa yelled as anger flashed through his eyes, "...or do you not even care that I'm using the clan that once meant so much to you?!"_

_It didn't matter. He wasn't the same person that he use to be. The person that Miwa knew was dead—killed by Kai's own hand. Why couldn't he see that? "That person... You talk as if a part of him still exists."_

_"Say what?"_

_"I've been reborn." A blood red aura surrounded him, the marks of Link Joker flowed down his pale cheeks as he smiled. "Thanks to the power of Link Joker I'm a new being!"_

_The blond braced himself as Kai's eyes narrowed and the darkness thickened, twisting about the card held within his grasp._

_"Slash through their hope with the pain of cursed memories. Fill this battlefield with darkness as a sign of what's to come! My Break Ride! Star-vader, Chaos Breaker __Dragon!"_

_A towering dragon in silver armor edged with red, gold and a touch of black materialized in a surge of dark red energy behind him, its power crackling across the starry battlefield like thunder. A glowing red jewel jutted out from its armored chest and two large spikes rose up from its shoulders, just in front of the giant black ring at its back. Several smaller rings were also present at Chaos Breaker's shoulders, armored hips and at the elbows. As it entered the battlefield, it swung an enormous sickle around before grasping it with both hands. The silver handle had two thin rings at each end. The head was silver, plated gold and had two red, oval jewels in its face, and the blade was molten red and broken black with a glowing red edge._

_Play time was over._

_It gave Kai a thrill to see the fear in Miwa's eyes as he gazed up at his newest unit. He reveled in the horror and shock that was present when he locked the blond's units, rendering them useless for the time being. Was that how he'd looked during his fight with Takuto? The thought surprised him and he immediately pushed it aside. This wasn't the time or place for such things. Besides, it wasn't like he could change what had happened, then, anyway._

_His turn finished and was passed to Miwa, who made good use of his deck, or Kai's, rather, in an all-or-nothing attempt to break through. His words had no affect on the other cardfighter. Miwa's eyes filled with desperation as he sent out attack after attack, only to be stopped in his tracks by Kai's Perfect Guard._

_The end came quickly. The grey-eyed teen was out of options and time, his fate having been sealed by that final, failed attack. It was only then that Kai told Miwa the truth—that he had chosen to become Reversed by his own free will in order to catch up to Aichi and Ren. He had—as the other had put it—stabbed his friends in the back. With that thought, he brought down the final blow, ending the game._

_The sixth damage had barely fallen when Miwa clutched his chest, shuddering as the blood red aura of Link Joker surrounded him, his teeth clenched in an effort to control the pain that pulsed through him with every heartbeat. The Kagerō cardfighter gave a pained laugh and the brunet's eyes widened a bit in surprise, a questioning sound escaping before he realized it._

_"Oh, man, Kai. Still so stubborn, even when you're Reversed. Do you really think..." he grunted, struggling to hold back the Reverse in one last desperate bid to get through to his friend, "...you can take them on—Aichi and Ren—by yourself? Well, I won't let you take this path without me."_

_Miwa gasped, barely choking down a cry as Link Joker's power dug deeper into him, ripping away his strength, grey eyes too bright as they fixed themselves on the one in front of him—Kai, his best friend. "Face it, bud. If we're in this mess, we're in it together."_

_He managed a strained chuckle, still trying to lighten the mood as usual, even as his resistance crumbled. Kai watched Miwa's breathing grow labored as the blood red aura around him intensified, sweat plastering his blond hair to his brow. The cardfighter's body curled inwards and fingers clenched as he moaned, still struggling against his fate. The brunet was surprised that Miwa had held out as long as he had._

_It took only a few more seconds before Link Joker snapped the last fiber of Miwa's stubborn spirit, screams of agony tearing through the air as the boy's back arched. Something stirred within Kai's heart—a sharp stab of regret for what he was doing to those he cared for the most—but he pushed it aside as he watched his friend being Reversed, the teen's body falling onto his knees before the cries came to an abrupt end._

_It was too late for him to turn from the path he was on. It was too late for him to be saved._

A car honked loudly, startling the jade-eyed teen who blinked in confusion when he found himself on the sidewalk, standing near one of several young trees that lined a busy road. It took a few moments to get his bearings before he realized where he was. It was the same place where his normally-cheerful friend had confronted him, and where he had Reversed him almost two weeks before. How had he gotten here? He had no recollection of the trip, other than thinking that he'd take the long route back after delivering Miwa's homework and then possibly swinging by Card Capital. Everything after that was nothing but a grey blur and... that one memory.

Kai shuddered, bringing a hand up to rub his aching temples. It wasn't the first time that this had happened since the end of Link Joker's invasion, where memory would overtake reality so that he wasn't sure which was which, though it was the first that he'd ended up somewhere else. Before, it was as if he'd zone out, then suddenly come to in the same place after the memory let him go, though now he wondered if he had moved around and simply didn't remember it.

Kai sighed, deciding that he didn't really want to know just yet and that he should get his mind onto something else. Double checking that he had his deck—and making sure that it wasn't Link Joker, just in case—he headed back the way he had come. He knew just the distraction that he needed.

* * *

The narrow alleyway was littered with garbage as the tall, jade-eyed teen walked, picking his way past an anxious-looking business man who was probably making his way home from his shady endeavors and continued on past several carousing drifters whose roof would be the sky, down yet another shadow-filled alley that opened into an open courtyard.

Sunlight dusted the weathered brick buildings that jutted out against the evening sky, surrounding an abandoned basketball court that was surrounded by a green-painted chain-link fence. Overturned cardboard boxes, barrels and plywood boards became makeshift tables for cardfighting amongst the colorful members of Jun's gang. Shouts erupted frequently from participants and spectators alike as the stakes rose—the player's deck, money, or favors that had been decided on over the course of the game.

No one seemed to notice the brunet standing just within the alleyway as he silently scanned the area, his grey pants, deep red shirt and black leather jacket serving to blend him into the lengthening shadows that curled around him in the wake of the retreating sun. Choosing an opponent, he stepped out into the aging court with confident steps and made his way over to the burly redhead known for double-crossing and cheating.

The man's silver earring caught a ray of sunlight as he turned, startled to see Kai casually standing behind him, hands in his pockets and jade eyes piercing as he made his challenge—not that the man had much choice. The rules here on the street were clear that, if one had lost a fight to someone, then that same person had power over them to do as they pleased. Those around them became quiet as the two pulled out their respective decks and set them on the Motion Figure System table without turning it on, as they wouldn't use the actual system unless Jun said so, and the crowd slowly grew louder as the battle progressed, Kai easily taking the win before challenging yet another cardfighter.

From the shadows Jun watched, playing with the chain that was snaked around his wrist a little as the high schooler coldly crushed his men over and over. Violet eyes narrowed slightly in thought as the gang leader watched Kai, taking in every detail from his confident stance to the tone of his voice as he called out his attacks, everything slowly coming together to confirm what he had been considering.

Finally, he stood, his long white coat falling into place over his darker shirt and pants as he moved towards the Motion Figure table. Several of his men glanced up wearily from where they slumped against the chain-link fence and brick buildings, shooting their leader a grateful look when he came up beside the Kagerō cardfighter.

"Had enough yet?" the gang leader asked, studying the battlefield as he leaned against the chain-link fence behind him.

Jade eyes glanced over momentarily before returning to the task at hand. "You sure took your time coming out tonight."

The dark-haired man smirked. "Just saving the best for last, wouldn't you say, Kai?"

"I suppose," the brunet said dealing the final blow. As the losing cardfighter staggered away and Kai began to reshuffle his deck, the gang leader stepped up to the table.

"Now that you're done warming up, how about getting down to business?"

His reply was a slight nod from the teen as the starting hand was drawn and the game began. They had fought like this several times over the past year and now knew each other's decks quite well, not to mention the play styles that they had. Even so, it was much more of a challenge than fighting most of the gang members—Jun wasn't called King of the Underground for nothing—and neither were willing to give much ground. It wasn't until well into the game that Jun decided to speak up. "Why are you here?"

After a few moments of thought, Kai spoke without taking his eyes off the battlefield. "I came to fight."

Violet eyes studied the younger cardfighter. "It doesn't seem that way to me."

"Oh. What makes you say that?"

"One of the responsibilities of a leader is to be able to read those under his control," Jun stated as the turn passed back to him. "I've been watching you and what I'm seeing doesn't line up with the Kai I know."

Jun stood his cards and drew before taking a card from his hand. Raising it up, his voice rang out into the growing darkness as the light of flames from the rusting barrels along the edges of the open space danced with the shadows. "A creature that existed when the universe was first created. Show us the power contained in the cosmos. Come forth with a Break Ride! Galactic Beast, Zeal!"

The brunet stiffened slightly, bracing himself for the onslaught to come. He didn't have to wait for long. Soon, the gang leader powered up his vanguard before sending a large attack Kai's way, forcing him to guard.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Jun looked up into his opponent's steady gaze before speaking. "Listen. I don't know what's going on, and I don't really want to." Kai resisted the urge to look away, continuing to keep his gaze locked on the older man as he continued. "But, whatever it is, running away isn't going to fix it."

"Is that what you think I'm doing?" The words stung. It was true that he had the tendency to run away from his problems, but that wasn't what he was doing now, was it?

"It doesn't matter what I think," Jun stated, sending the last attack Kai's way, bringing him up to five damage. "You know what you need to do and it will be up to you chose the path that you'll take."

His path. He had often told Aichi of the importance of making his own decisions—of fighting for what he believed in by taking his own path. That was what he had always done, rarely taking the advise of others as he made his own way in the world. But, what he was facing now, that was different, right? Miwa had walked away, rejecting his attempts to make things right. Now, there was only one path for him to take. There wasn't any other way that he could see, he would have to accept that his childhood friend was gone.

_"You'd probably just prefer if I looked the other way, but that wouldn't make me much of a pal, would it?"_

Kai stood his cards in preparation for his final turn, brows drawing down as the memory from earlier echoed in his mind. Taking a card from his hand, he brought it down, Ride chant ringing through the air as he Rode Dragonic Overlord, The End. _'Is that what I'm doing? Am I looking the other way?'_

Aichi's earnest face, determination and acceptance plain in his eyes, when he fought him atop the towering Tatsunagi skyscraper as the black ring crumbled above them, not just to win, but to show him that there was a way back—that he wasn't lost for good—suddenly came to his mind. The younger teen had risked his very life to fight Takuto. He had saved the world and saved Kai, himself, in the end.

How easy it would have been for the blue-haired high schooler to run away—to abandon his idol as a lost cause—yet he chose to fight, just like Misaki did for Miwa, and just as his blond best friend had done for him. They risked everything, for him, for the world, and for what they believed in.

_'Would I have been willing to do the same if I had been in their place?'_ Two rear-guards were called before he attacked with The End and Jun's hand reduced drastically as he called Karenroid, Daisy and Twin Order to the Guardian Circle. The battle was drawing to a close.

A memory flashed through his mind, of Misaki opposing Miwa in front of the Tatsunagi building, clouds dark above them, the power of Reverse thick in the air under one of the great rings, tension crackling across the grassy yard between them. The blond, still wearing his normal blue uniform and usual pink jacket, fought only for the sake of Kai and his plan, Reverse's aura thick about him while the violet-haired girl fought for the sake of the world and for the sake of her friends. In the middle of the battle, she had called out with determination. _"Let me show you how much I care, Miwa!"_

The image of pained grey eyes and the sound of running feet echoed through his mind. His breath caught as he suddenly understood. All this time, he had been pulling away, too hurt to see what he was really doing. He had just been letting Miwa go with hardly a fight, as if he didn't care. A new path was beginning to open up to him, one that just might bring Miwa back home.

The sixth card fell into Jun's damage zone and the dark-haired man sighed, slightly disappointed that he still couldn't pull a win against the brunet. Kai quickly gathered up his cards and placed them carefully back into his black deck case before looking over at the older cardfighter who smiled at the newly-kindled determination in the Kagerō cardfighter's eyes. Soon, he was headed home, the black velvet sky with its glittering stars and silver moon overhead, silhouetting the buildings around him as he walked along, not bothered by the darkness.

He paused only once, glancing up at the beautiful night sky, and smiled a little before moving on.

"I'm not letting you go, Miwa," he murmured. "Not without a fight."

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**A/N: Only a few chapters left, unless I have a flash of inspiration that will take me further than planned. This fic has been an interesting ride. Didn't realize how much trouble I have writing Jun's character, must work on that sometime. Anyway, it's good to be back!**


	6. Dear Reader

**Dear Reader,**

**I am very sorry for my long absence from this story and I know that you are all hoping for an update. Unfortunately, due to several different circumstances I will no longer be continuing this story. I have lost the inspiration, desire and documents needed to finish **_**If You Ever Left Me**_**.**

**I have greatly enjoyed working on this story and have learned much. I had once hoped that I would continue this, but from the way my life has been heading I know now that I will not be able to finish this story properly. I know you are disappointed and I am too. This is not how I had hoped things would go in my first multi-chapter story. But such is life…**

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**For those of you who are curious about how this was supposed to end, I can tell you that:**

**1) Kai did fight for his friendship with Miwa and was able to finally confront him about his behavior. (I no longer remember how I was to get to that point.)**

**2) Miwa's sudden change of behavior was actually something that had been a long time coming. Miwa constantly chose to live in Kai's shadow (despite the fact that he is obviously an amazing cardfighter and person himself) and worked to support Kai even when he didn't want him there. His loyalty and character are constantly underrated and unacknowledged.**

**In the end, the stress and the guilt over not being able to stop his best friend from hurting himself (and the world at large) drove him away. He thought that Kai would be better off without him around and that he was a hindrance to the person he considered his best friend. You could say that he is unconsciously jealous of Aichi.**

**3) They make up in the end and their friendship becomes stronger than ever.**

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**The purpose of this story was to show some appreciation for my favorite CFV character and to acknowledge the heavy toll caregivers of any kind can take on in their own unacknowledged positions. We would spend ourselves completely for the sake of others and not cry for help when we have nothing left to give. And the only think we long for is for someone to acknowledge us and what we do.**

**Thank you again for taking the time to read this story! I am sorry to end it this way, but I hope you will be able to understand.**

**May you all have a blessed day.**

**Sincerely,**

**Everlight18**


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